Archives for category: words

2010 is over already, the way the years fly by kinda makes my head spin!  Is it really necessary that the days go by at warp speed?  This summer my boys will turn 8 and 10, seriously, how did that happen, they were just babies!!!  I don’t get it, but hopefully my word this year will help me… but I am getting a head of myself, first I must talk about LOVE!!  Oh how great this word has been to me, I have learned so much this year it has really been incredible!!  As I reread my word post for last year it makes me happy to see how far one year has brought me, and while at the beginning of 2010 I was hoping for an easy trial-less year I am so happy that I didn’t get it!!  This last year has been wonderful in a lot of ways and really, REALLY hard in others which I also see as wonderful once I get a chance to break away from the hardness and see how it is helping me grow.  I am happy to report I fell in love with many things, not only did I fall in love with cooking I also found a love for all things kitchen!  On some days I really love being in there and the food that I make is actually good!  Who knew I could be good at that?!!  Not me, that’s for sure, until this year!!

This year I also fell in love with Netflix, everything about it is awesome, that is all.

I have had 2 callings in church this year and while I enjoyed the first one (helping out with the scouts) I am really loving the one we have now which is teaching the 8 and 9 year olds in primary.  Preparing the lessons have helped me on my quest to fall in love with the scriptures which I am still working on, and I am learning so much, I really love it when I realize how good something is for me.  I was super overwhelmed when we got the call and I may have cried but it has been exactly what I have needed and something I am really happy to do!!

My Grama taught me the most about love this year.  To her, love was an action word, she didn’t just talk about it or say the word a lot, she showed her love for everyone by serving and giving and supporting and teaching and hugging!  She taught me a lot about love when she let me serve her and watching Mike do what he did for her made me fall in love with him more than I thought possible.  We buried my Grama on our 11th wedding anniversary and it was a day I know I will never forget.  I felt so lucky and proud to be a part of her family and extremely happy to be loved by Mike and our boys.  I know that my mission to love more will not end with this year, it is a life quest and a darn good one, I think!!  I know I will never be as great at loving as my Grama was but I’m going to keep at it anyway.

I feel a bit sad for who I was a year ago when it comes to loving myself, as I read that post I noticed that I was basing my ability to love who I am completely on what I looked like on the outside.  There is a lot more to me than that and sadly it took losing a bunch of weight and then gaining it all back to realize I have more to offer the world than fitting into a certain size jean.  My quest to control my weight will go on forever, I am sure, but my reasons have totally changed.  There are some things that I don’t like about me but there are  a lot more that I do like and over all I am happy to be me!

When my word for 2011 came to me it came like a punch in the face which makes me really excited about it and also a little scared!  Interestingly, that punch in the face came about 3 months ago and it has already started changing me for the better, seriously, I highly recommend a word of the year, it’s crazy cool!!  drumroooooollllllllll….

GRATITUDE

I have to admit that I am the kind of person that says ” I can’t wait until this happens, then things will be better.” or ” as soon as we get thru that, life will be awesome”  Just over the past 3 months this word has helped me to slow down, look around and even though things might not be ideal, I can find the happiness by counting my blessings.  I feel like 2011 is a big present I can’t wait to open!  And I feel really happy that love goes hand in hand with gratitude.

For my band this year I decided to try something different.  Instead of picking a band that I love I thought I would pick something unfamiliar and see if I could find something new to love!  So, David Bowie, you are my man for the year!  I really only know a handful of Bowie stuff and I am excited to learn more about him and his music.  So if anyone out there has some Bowie music they would like to share with me, that would be awesome, or even just recommendations on what to listen to would be killer!

I am also going to add a photography project to my list of do’s for the year.  It will be called the yellow collection.  The idea is that when I see anything that is yellow I will take a picture of it, through out the year I will post them here and by the end of 2011 I will have a big collection of yellowness.  I hope it will turn out cool!  HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

Advertisements

On Sunday I woke up and I was still tired and I really didn’t want to get up and get ready for church.  Then I thought to myself, “self, if I really don’t want to go this bad there must be something very important I need to hear today.”  So, I got up.  We were a little bit late but I was excited to be there to see what it was I needed to hear, and oh, there was so much!!  We had the sister missionaries speak and they both gave excellent talks and one of them shared this quote by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“What we love determines what we seek.  What we seek determines what we think and do.  What we think and do determines who we are – and who we will become.”

I loved this the moment I heard it and I know it will be something I think about the rest of my life.  So, I wanted to share it with you.

About this time last year I would have conversations with myself that would sounds something like this…  “if I could just lose some weight that would be awesome, life would be perfect, I would be so happy with myself!!”  Well, fast forward to today, and minus 45 lbs, the conversations sound like this…”my arms are really flabby, why are my arms sooo flabby  and why did everything on my body shrink except my boobs?”    Seriously, what gives?  After loosing 45 lbs. I should love everything about myself, right?  I should be floating around in a haze of happiness, WHERE IS MY HAZE OF HAPPINESS?!?!  I mean really, I am wondering if it’s even possible to be completely happy with oneself.  Is my goal of loving who I am a completely unreachable one?   I hope not, I know my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy, I know it’s got to be possible, somehow!!   The only  conclusion that I have come up with is that it just has to be a conscious decision, so basically I just have to say, this is me and I am ok with me.  Learning to love myself is not as easy as I thought it would be.  Also, I think I need to start working on other things, the scripture Matthew 10:39 come to mind, (and just so you know I am no  scripture scholar, I totally had to look it up!) it says ” He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it”  What I am thinking is maybe I need to focus on loving others more and make that my priority and then just maybe loving who I am will come naturally.  That is my hope, for now.

and seriously how can I look at a photo like this and not think that life is good?

I made this HERE

So, it is that time of year again to start fresh and really, I am excited about what this year has in store! Last year was alright, we went thru a lot of things that kind of stunk but we are all healthy and happy so that is good. I feel like I did great at my word, which was ELIMINATE. Could I have done better? Probably, but I am totally happy with all that I got rid of last year and it turned out to be just what we needed as a family and made our move a little easier. I also did a good job of slowing down in my work so I could be with the family more and I have to say that I love it that way! I worked so hard for so long and it was tough at first to not work. But I have had more time to do things with the kids and as a family and I need to never work that hard again, my boys need me around and I have really enjoyed being here! Last year we went camping for the first time ever as a family, that was awesome and we will for sure be doing more of that! We had more art time here in the house and that is only a good thing! I have also been working on eliminating pounds and that is going well, I am down 30 lbs. and have 30 more to go. Working on that will carry over into this year and is something I will work on my whole life, I am sure. But with working less and losing some weight I also eliminated a lot of stress and in general I am a happier person, yipee for me!! My band of 2009 was Fleetwood Mac and I listened to them as much as I could, I just love them! They will always make me happy. Well, now on to this year!!

My word for 2010 is LOVE. This came to me pretty quickly as I started to think about what I wanted to work on this year but at first I was thinking along the lines of just loving the people around me more and that was it. But as I have been thinking about it (that’s what I love about having a word, I am always thinking about it!) I realized that it goes much deeper than that and I am really excited about what focusing on this word will do! I realized last night that I need to work on loving myself. This is going to be a tough one because for the past 5 years I have really hated a lot of things about the way I look. Losing weight has helped me out a little and I am starting to feel the beautiful woman in me come out. This, I think, is important for any woman and I know it will help me with confidence in my business, and raising my boys and I hope that once I get comfortable with myself that it will be easier to love all those around me. Now, when I say “those around me” I don’t just mean my family. They are obviously the first ones I want to love more but I really want to reach ANYONE that I come in contact with. This means clients, neighbors, people at church, anyone that I can share a little love with! And love is not just for people, oh no, I want to love other stuff too! I think I’ll make a list…
1. I want to make sure I always love my calling at church, no matter what it is! About a year and a half ago Mike and I were called to be in the nursery. In the beginning this was sooo hard, I dreaded every sunday and I would come home with a headache and I was kind of miserable about the whole thing. The thing was, we didn’t have toddlers in our house any more, and we liked it that way! So going to church and having to entertain 9 two year olds was not my idea of a good time. Then, one day, I guess I was being extra miserable, Sarah looked at me and said “you know, if you liked this a more it would be a whole lot easier.” I wanted to roll my eyes at her! Easy for her to say, she is the Queen of kids and happy all the time, that wasn’t me. But what she said stuck with me and I don’t know when it happened but one day I looked around and my heart was full of love for those little ones, and we had fun, and sundays were great and happy again and on our last day in that ward I cried when the parents came to take there kids home. Love had changed me. And I am so thankful it did!!
2. I already love my job, except for the days I don’t. I have heard most of my life that most people get up and go to a job they don’t like. I have always known that I could never be one of those people and I am lucky to have a husband that thinks like me! I think that overloading myself with work these past few years has sucked a lot of the love that I used to have for running my own business, and I think that it shows in my work. Bummer. Well, this year I am determined to get that love back, I know it’s there somewhere, I just need to make it grow. I am excited to see how love can change my photography.
3. I want to fall in love with the Scriptures. I have yet to do this in my life. I have had crushes over the years but have not fallen head over heels. I hope that happens this year.
4. I want to love cooking. I have so much to learn when it comes to cooking but I really don’t want my boys to grow up eating junk, which is all we have eaten in the last 10 years. I need to learn this so we can all be healthier people.
I know that as time goes on there will be a bunch of stuff that I will think of, but for now, those are the biggies. I have a lot of work ahead of me but really, I am so excited for the year to come! Especially since I truly love the band I have chosen for the year! As I sit here in my Beatles White Album t-shirt I know that they are the only band that I could choose for my year of love!! Oooo, it’s going to be good!!