It’s that time of year again, word time!!  Having a word for the year has been such an amazing thing over the past few years and this last year did not disappoint!  The word for 2011 was GRATITUDE.  Once again I was surprised at how it played out over the year.  I thought that having this as a focus would make me grateful for anything and everything around me, instead, while I am grateful for many things, focusing on this made me intensely grateful for a few wonderful things in my life.  I feel like I discovered a level of gratitude that I didn’t know existed.  This past year has been a pretty hard one for both Mike and I, but throughout the entire year I was able to remind myself that I was learning and growing and going through this for a reason, which in turn made me grateful.  Being grateful for the hard things has brought a peace to my heart, I feel very lucky and blessed.  Gratitude was exactly the word I needed this year!  I realize I didn’t blog as much this year but in a way it was a really good thing because I slowed down and tried to just enjoy what was happening around me.  Things I remember most about this year are the smell of the ocean, the boys bouncing up and down as we walked down Main Street at Disneyland, the way the clouds looked as we drove to Denver, art blocks, dreams about my grama, the feel of jellyfish and sharks, Beatles Love, going to DC all by my self, being a room mom, science projects that include lots and lots of water polymers,  the way it smells and feels when Mike hugs me (my very favorite), watching my baby get baptized, playing with the scouts, seeing friends I haven’t seen in 15 years and it still being awesome to hang out,  and realizing Jack’s toes are as big as mine.  I am thankful for all we went through this year, good and bad.

David Bowie was my music man of the year, when I started adding a band I just thought that it would help me surround myself with good music that I loved and made me happy and that was pretty much it.  But I learned something from David Bowie this year, imagine that!  One day I was reading about all the things he has done in his life and I was shocked to discover that he has failed at more things than he has succeeded at.  It’s hard it imagine some one like David Bowie failing at anything, but he has, and I found that  inspiring!  Not that I inspire to fail, but I hope that I can live a life where I do what I love and I never give up, and more importantly, I hope that I can teach that to my boys.  The other thing I discovered about David Bowie is that the music of his that I like, I really, REALLY like, and the music of his I don’t like, I seriously don’t like, there is no middle ground for me and David.  And that’s ok, I still think he’s rad.

So, on to 2012.  Since picking my word for 2012 it has popped up again and again and I just love it when that happens!!  For the first time though, I picked a phrase, not just one word…

LET IT BE

This is going to be great for this year and something I have discovered that I need to learn.  I have a tenancy to let things eat at me, and after all that we have had to deal with this last year, I just can’t deal with things eating at me and, even though it’s hard, I have to remember that I can’t please everyone.  For the most part the things that eat at me are things that I can’t do anything about and stressing out about them is just not healthy and not worth my time.  This year is going to be about moving forward, surrounding myself with people that I love and I know love and respect me back, and things that I can’t do anything about I will let be.  It makes me feel free and happy just to think about it.

Music for the year is another David or Dave rather.  Dave Matthews.  I have loved him for a lot of years and the reason I am picking him is because he is the soundtrack to the story of me and Mike.  From the very beginning Dave was there, when Betsy and I won tickets to go see Dave in Denver I bought Mike a shirt with the last of my money and then I used the cell phone of the drunk guy next to us to call Mike so he could hear the opening song of the show.  Mike proposed to me at Stewart Falls up by Sundance and on our way down the canyon “two step” was playing, every time I hear that song I think of Mike, his red truck, fall time, and the promise I made to love him forever.  It makes me happy.  Memories like that go on and on and I am so happy to have all of them with Mike.   In our 12 years of marriage we have seen Dave live 7 times and we can’t wait to see him again, I hope we can find a way this year!!

I started a photo project last year with the theme of yellow.  I only took a few photos of yellow things so when I first started thinking about it I thought I had totally dropped the ball on that project.  But then I was taking a look at my professional work for the year and I noticed something…  for the most part my work is all filled with the sun and beautiful flare, when shooting into the sun what color do you get?  That’s right, yellow.  So even though that project didn’t go as planned I am considering it a success!  Yay me!!  My project for this year is going to be a fun one, instant film!  Mike bought me a huge pack of film for my birthday and I am going to attempt to stretch it out over the year.  The photos at the end of this post are from Thanksgiving.  We had our last hurrah at Disneyland and then Mike surprised me by driving us up to Zuma Beach, the beach of my childhood, I loved it!  I had my little camera and 10 photos for each place, these are few of my favorites.

Happy 2012!

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