My fears.  Fears are interesting and I have to admit I don’t quite understand them all.  Some I get, for instance, if you have a bad experience with something I can see how a fear might develop, but my fears just make no sense to me.  As of recently I have had 2 major ones and the reason they make no sense is because I didn’t have them at all until I had my babies.  #1 Fear of Heights.  I had absolutely no problem with this at all in my younger years.  I did things like climb Angels Landing and fly all over the world, what gives?  I still don’t mind flying too much but all I have to do is think about being at the top Angels Landing or standing at the top of the Stratosphere in Vegas and my pulse starts speeding up and I find it a little hard to breathe.  Ok, enough talk about that, seriously, I can’t handle it!  #2  Fear of Knives.  This kinda makes me laugh, knives? Really?  Well, yes, really.  This one kinda snuck up on me.  When Mike and I got married we got a cheap knife set and for some reason in those early years his dad just kept giving us knives.  When Jack was about a year we moved and I piled all those knives together for the move and seeing all those knives together in one place scared me to death.   I just kept picturing Jack toddling around with 2 knives in his tiny hands and the whole fast pulse thing and no breath started again and that was it, I took all the sharp knives we owned, except for the cheapie set we got for our wedding (which was far from sharp) and gave them to the D.I.  That was over 8 years ago.  I don’t know if it’s because the boys have grown up a bit or maybe I have but I am looking at knives in a whole new way now.  Earlier this year I started to cook things, good things with lots of veggies.  It quickly became apparent that I had no business cutting veggies with the 10 year old knives we still had sitting on our counter, they really sucked!  I was discussing this with my awesome sister Erin one day and she told me that she had just gotten a new knife set (she’s a fancy cook and is smart about things like knives) and she said I could have her old one.  She brought the set over one day with *gasp* a knife sharpener!!!  Guess what!  I so love those knives!!!  I think they are pretty and I feel like a real cook just holding them!!  My favorite thing to chop?  Celery.  Once I continued to chop the whole thing of celery even though I didn’t need it just because I was having so much fun.  Which makes me wonder… would educating yourself about something erase a fear?  Yes, I think it’s possible, yay for learning!!  Except in my case with heights, that education kinda screwed me.

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